My December
by JeiC
Summary: Unrest stirs in a warriors soul during this time of peace.
1. 1st December

Disclaimer: pouts I dun own Gundam Wing. I dun own much so dun sue me – I'm poor.  
Author's notes: Notes at the end.  
Warnings: mild angst, mild language, yaoi implications

**My December  
****First December**

by JeiC

* * *

Winter…such a perfect way to describe me – cold, ice. I take general note of the stores decorated for Christmas as the snow falls around me. A year ago people had gathered together to celebrate this holiday only to have their festivities halted by Mariemaea. 

No, I correct myself, Dekim Barton had used her, so essentially, she is still innocent.

A year of peace has passed and yet I am still restless – still wandering searching out possible threats to the peace that I helped bring about.

I had stayed with Relena for awhile, but being a bodyguard under her watchful eye did not settle well with me – I had to move on. The Preventers watch over her now as I travel from one place to the next with no real purpose other than to make sure peace is maintained, or at least that is how I rationalize my aimless wandering.

The cheery lights and festive garlands don't suit my mood. I'm sure I stand out with my dark brown trench coat and brooding demeanor. I don't much care either – I was never as good with blending in a crowd as Duo.

To be honest, I'm not even certain why I ventured out of my current place to rest my head – there's nothing here that needs to be defended. Last year at this time it was a hotbed of activity, but even with the Preventer regiment that had been here, it wasn't enough to stop a plan that had been in the works for only Dekim Barton could have told us how long. The five scientists that had been under the Barton Foundation's funding died the year before during the Eve Wars.

It seems as if there was no need for me to need to come out of hiding this Christmas Eve, though I suppose that I really haven't come out of hiding as much as put myself at risk for being recognized while quietly trying to keep an eye out for anything that could jeopardize this fragile balance called peace.

Hiking my collar up, I berate myself for not having a hat to which to hide my unruly hair. Apparently it is fairly easy to recognize, though it might be somewhat more difficult now that I've let it grow out a bit. While I have no intention of growing it out as long as Duo, it is at a point where it's less noticeable as what I had, but not where the length annoys me.

Brushing my bangs out of my face, I make note to trim those however.

Pausing, I briefly look up at the stars – most of which are hidden due to the light pollution of the city, and wonder what the others are doing now. I probably know the answers to all of them except for Duo. I never could figure him out.

Feeling as if someone is watching me, I move quickly, but not as to alert the crowd around me, nor my tracker. Doubling back on myself several times, I finally shake whoever it is. Not too many people are that tenacious. In a way, I had been hoping that they would sooner reveal themselves than give up, but it was either that or risk having them know where I'm hiding out right now, and I'm not finished with this area yet.

Not being too thrilled with the fact that I'm farther away from my destination than when I started, I opt for moving around the city's center rather than trying to pass through it. It is going to take me a lot longer to get back, but I would rather not risk a confrontation. Out here, I may be more open, but so are they if they've seriously chosen to try and follow me.

Slowly, the stores and houses become fewer and farther between until I am alone on a dirt road leading to seemingly nowhere. That's the same road my life has taken so far. When I was a Gundam pilot – the "perfect soldier," I had a purpose and a means of easily tucking all my emotions away, ceasing this endless chatter with myself.

Giving a short laugh I realize how much Duo's monologues resemble my mind's chatter. Shrugging off the thought, my eyes turn towards the stars again.

The winter air creates such clarity for stargazing out past the city limits. Shaking my head I notice that my mind tends to wander about as much as I do these days. During the war I couldn't afford to do things like that – too many lives at stake, too many missions to complete. Now, my life is clear of all that and I'm searching for something…something to do in this time of peace.

I wonder what the others would think of me now…

Relena, even though she got over her foolish crush on me, she would still want me by her side. I don't think she realizes that I'm not as strong of a support as she believes. She's so much stronger than I am, being the Vice Foreign Minister in this time of peace. Now I am a useless tool in comparison to her.

She has been doing well during this time – the initiatives she had set forth prior to the Mariemaea incident held together through that and are now being recognized.

From time to time I drop by to see how she is doing, but I don't let her know of my presence. Her words are very powerful and I think that I would have a hard time turning an offer down to stay. Maybe not – it is a road that I have avoided traveling.

Wufei, well, he might understand what I'm going through – he himself went through it during the period between the end of the war with the White Fang and OZ and the war with Mariemaea. He'd probably suggest I join the Preventers. There might be a little action and direction for me there, but I have a feeling it would mostly be empty meetings and shallow missions.

I'm glad that Chang found an outlet for his talents, but I also wonder how long it will last. How long will it be before he becomes restless again? The warrior/scholar has surprised us before so it is possible that he will find enough satisfaction there.

Quatre I'm sure would offer me a place within his family's company, but it would be the same as working for the Preventers. Besides, I don't think I would do well in a business environment like that – too high class for my tastes.

Trowa would silently allow me to stay with him for a while and his sister Cathy might try to get me to join the circus again if only to be able to throw knives at me for taking him back into battle. It might feel slightly rewarding to finally be able to give smiles in place of all the tears I'm sure to have caused to shed.

Duo…Duo is a mystery to me. He's always welcomed me with open arms, but never once suggested what I should do with my life. As loud as he can be, he has always been a silent supporter and the most realistic one of the two of us. He knew that I had faults just like any other human – he knew that the "perfect soldier" was a façade that Dr. J created. He knows me so well, and yet I know so very little of him.

Skirting the edges of the city's center in order to cut down some time that I have to spend out in the cold, my pace is brisk, but not alarmingly so. It is that of someone who is cold and wants to get home quickly to find warmth.

Ironically, I don't have an actual home to go back to…just a place of relative safety. A base of operations if you will that is only temporary at best.

"Hey, buddy…can you spare a few bucks."

My eyes slide over to glance at the person in the alleyway that dares to interrupt my now longer trek back to what is essentially a safe house. This is where I wish it was Duo with his irritatingly good timing for either offering or requesting help.

"If not, that coat of yours will do nicely…" Out comes the switchblade just like in all those cliché movies and TV shows.

Taking note that no one else is on the street, nor does he have any buddies lying in wait, I don't even take my hands out of my pockets to kick the knife out of his hand. "I don't have time for your nonsense." It's somewhat irritating also that just because they're taller than I am and more muscular, they assume that I am of no threat.

In some cases, it also works in my favor, but mostly when I'm trying to sneak into places that I don't belong.

Jabbering like an idiot, he scrambles away, running as fast as he can, which I find oddly amusing. In turn, I return to the pace I had been previously traveling at. Perhaps I should have taken the knife, but I honestly doubt that he would try again – at least not without a few more friends.

If nothing else, I feel a little warmer from varying my movement.

I find the rest of my trek back to be as boring as my life has been this past year. On occasion, someone seems to indirectly feed me information, which has always turned out to be accurate. Those always seem to be the bigger fires that whoever it is, does not trust to Preventer Corp to handle.

While they may be a bigger force with better equipment, their officers lack the instincts needed to pull off such missions.

Eventually I trail off and come within viewing distance of the mostly hidden path that will take me back to my temporary sanctuary.

So empty – this includes my current residence as well as how I am feeling. I'm never in one place long enough to call it a home…never long enough to get attached to anything. That's how I lived for most of my life – I traveled everywhere with Odin Lowe, the only person I could call my father, stayed at the training facilities during my time with Dr. J, and I was lucky if I stayed in one place for more than a week during the war. After the war, I went to school – participating as an actual student for once, but was called to action again.

Trudging up the few stairs to the door of the house, my key is already in hand and I only pause long enough to let myself in.

You know, it was Duo who found me to deliver Quatre's message. I put a loaded gun to his back and he joked about it. He managed to hide his signature braid well under his trench coat. Black trench coat, black pants, and dark sunglasses…if it wasn't for the white t-shirt I would have probably told him he looked at least like an agent for Shinigami if not the God himself. Of course his flippant attitude helped with that image. He always managed to separate part of his personality during missions making him that much more deadly.

My thoughts breathe for a moment as I shed my own trench coat. I find it easier to hide weapons underneath and it doesn't get in my way.

We went over the information and decided on the best way to get Wing Zero to Quatre. With everything said and done, he left shortly thereafter and I only got a simple text e-mail stating that he had retrieved my Gundam and that Quatre sent his thanks.

That was all I had heard from him until just before Christmas. At that point I was still enrolled at a school and while I was attending class, he let himself into my apartment. He appeared as he always had – jokes and smiles, but his face changed when he mentioned Mariemaea…changed to that of the bringer of death. He wanted my help in getting information and maybe if I was up for it to help him do something about it. We partnered up in the beginning of the mission, but after that, I never saw him again.

Here I have to correct myself again, I did see him when I had woken up as they tried to get me out of the presidential residence. Duo stood off in the distance – if it wasn't for the braid dancing behind him in the wind, I wouldn't have known it was him. He disappeared as I was being dragged in another direction. I admit, I would be appreciative of his company right now.

Throughout our last mission…during the times I was partnered with him, there was something about the way he acted and I cannot figure out what is so different about it than his normal behavior. Then again, his personality has always struck me as something odd, and at first, I didn't trust him for it, but soon, I came to rely on it. I realized early on that his jokes and smiles were as much of a mask for him as my emotionless barrier was for me, but I approved of it noting how much better he could manage in society than I could. I tried adapting some of his methods to my own and some have been successful and easy to integrate into mine, others, I left those strictly to Duo.

As I put some water on the stove to make coffee, I stop and think about how many times I tried giving advice to the others that I didn't even follow myself. I told Trowa to follow his emotions even though mine were far locked away. He never told me how foolish it was for me to be saying such things since I had no emotions to speak of at the time.

I told Quatre that he didn't need kindness on the battlefield, but it would be required at all other times. He never told me that there was a difference between mercilessly killing those on the opposing side and rendering them unable to continue to fight.

Wufei…well, at first I knew well enough to let him do his own thing, but after he sided with Mariemaea, I told him to self-detonate – when he refused and we fought again, I asked him how many more must we kill – that we weren't needed any longer. He never told me that you couldn't deny the warrior inside.

I told Duo that he stood out. He told me that maybe if I acted more normal and had a little fun that I would blend in better. I guess it was an unspoken rule – I don't try to advise him, he doesn't try to advise me.

Yet of all the people I met, I labeled him and stupid and brushed his opinions aside when it came to just about everything.

Yes, I thought Relena's pacifism and obsession with me foolish, but I gave her peaceful ideals a chance. I thought Quatre's kindness got in the way of making him a perfect soldier, but I left it at that and only said something when he brought it up. He was the leader and strategist of our operations on Peacemillion, but Duo…he was like some stupid dog that kept coming back even after you kicked him. Now I regret ever treating him as such. He is so much more than I considered he could ever be.

There are few things I regret in my life and this is the only one I can think of right now. It almost hurts not to have him here chattering away. I can't help but wonder what fault was in my training to react towards him as such – to need to feel superior to everyone around me. Now I just wander doing what I'm guessing was the same thing he was. He never did tell me what he had been doing.

I haven't come in contact with any of them since about two months after the last war. I could easily find any of them though if I so wished, but not Duo. Like myself, he won't be found unless he wants to be. This is the longest period of time that I haven't heard from him…he knows where to leave me a message and I'll get it.

The what if's run through my mind. What if I had been nicer? What if I had at least listened? What if I didn't tell him to shut up so much? What if I didn't call him stupid so often? What if I had followed my hidden emotions and told him how much I cared…how much I needed him?

Well, that's all past now – nothing I can do about what I've already done, or is there? Can I make amends and maybe win him back? Win him back…I never had him to lose him.

Shaking my head of those thoughts, others take their place. My life has been so temporary, what would it be like if I actually stayed still and tried to make things permanent? Right now I don't think I could live like that…not alone at least, but the idea is rather tempting. Like I said before, I know I would be welcome by people, but there's something more I'm looking for, and I don't know what it is…something that has to do with Duo, that's all I know.

Upon hearing the doorbell ring, I immediately pull my gun and head towards the source of the disturbance. No one should know that I'm here let alone visiting.

Checking the peephole quickly, I curse the fact that there isn't a window to get a good view of the front door. I'll have to remember that for my next place. Seeing nothing, I pull the door open quickly and hide behind the doorframe for a moment before turning and trying to take aim at…nothing.

Still aiming for a possible target, I kneel down and scoop up the innocent looking Christmas gift that was left on the doorstep and return inside. Someone was still there, watching. They had to be still there unless they rigged my doorbell to work by remote.

Whatever was inside the somewhat large box kept shifting around as if it had a mind of it's own. Placing it down on the kitchen table, I look at it closely, trying to figure out if it's a trap or not. My eyes fall on the tag, which simply says "To Heero," but I would recognize that artistic scrawl anywhere.

Deciding that it was safe, I open the package, finding a box full of holes underneath the wrapping. Opening the box itself, a gray pup stared up at me, lying next to a small device to provide him air, until becoming excited and jumping into my arms.

Taking two steps back from the sudden pounce, I manage to safely put my gun on the table so I can catch the creature with both arms. After getting my face licked several times, I notice a note tied to the puppy's collar. Detaching it, I shift the gray bundle of fur to one arm so I can read it.

_I thought you might be getting lonely and this little guy could use a good home. Don't worry, I'm going to stick around to make sure that Smoke doesn't get stuck out there in the cold, though I hope you don't shoot him first._

_Merry Christmas, Heero!_

_Duo_

Running back to the door with both the pup and the note in hand, I open it quickly to see if Duo might still be around. The cold hits my face hard and makes the little one yelp, but I see no sign of the boy with the long braid.

Damn him…he found me exactly when he wanted to and I have not been able to come close to locating him. Looking at the small bundle in my arms, I speak gentle, "So your name is Smoke?" This is one puppy that I won't let die.

Merry Christmas, Duo…wherever you are.

* * *

Fin  
October 2006  
by JeiC  
---  
Author's notes: This is going to be a five part series…maybe more if people really like it and want me to write more, and only if I can think of how to write them. This is after Endless Waltz and I am going to use the events from Blind Target for the filler between the series and EW as a reference.  
Originally this was supposed to be a songfic, but I thought it best to leave the lyrics out. The song that inspired this was "My December" by Linkin Park.  
And just because you didn't want to know this, I have been trying to put this set of fics together for years…yes, years. I've been trying to clean up all the fics that have been sitting on my harddrive, begging to be finished. Gundam Wing got first dibs since these are older. I think I initially started on the idea back in 2000 or 2001, gave up in 2003 after playing with it off and on for a long time, and just revisited it to take another crack at it.  
Also, to all of you that have so kindly reviewed, I'll try to thank you guys personally since I'm writing these chapters well ahead of the deadlines that I've set for myself and prepping them (sometimes months) ahead of time so it'll be easy posting when the time comes 'cause we all know that I'll spaz out and forget until the very last minute and if adding a chapter is just a few clicks away instead of having to fully edit it (well, for ff .net anyway), you should get them on time.  
For those of you who have decided to kindly leave an unsigned review, I suppose all I can do at the moment is thank you now and in the future for taking the time to read my fic and posting your thoughts on whichever chapter you happened to review.

* * *


	2. 2nd December

Disclaimer: pouts I dun own Gundam Wing. I dun own "My December" by Linkin Park. I dun own much so dun sue me – I'm poor.  
Author's notes: Notes at the end.  
Warnings: some angst, some sap, yaoi, OOC

**My December  
****Second December**

by JeiC

* * *

Another year of peace has past and at this joyful time of year, I feel so much more alone than usual. The winter has managed to chill my heart, causing me to slowly but surely remove myself from the realm of humanity. Slowly I shake my head…two years of peace. Well, what everyone thinks is peace. Even I know the Preventers have been busy with minor fires. I tend to tackle the more major ones for them, well, most of them anyway. The ones I can't get to in time, I make sure my partner gets them. 

I have to laugh because I don't have a partner per say. You see, I like to keep an eye on everyone and I know Heero has been doing the same thing I have so I feed him information every once in awhile, but never directly. I put something out on the net for him to sniff at and then let him do his thing.

Walking through the thick crowd, they seem to part to avoid me and yet they don't see me at the same time. Heh, really now, who in their right mind would want to get close to the God of Death? I manage to quickly find my current vehicle in the parking garage and take off to leave the city.

Even though I have a vague notion of what the others are up to, I still wonder what is really going on in their lives. While it doesn't take me much to find out, I sort of miss the camaraderie that I had with each of them…if you could call it that.

The princess is still doing her thing, and doing a damn good job of it. Occasionally I feel the need to stop an assassination attempt on her life so that's about the time I check up on her. The girl really needs to get a boyfriend though. She shouldn't have to keep putting up with all those old farts day in and day out.

Wufei…well, I never really understood him to begin with. Cultural differences and all I think. He seems to be doing quite well with the Preventers. Or at least he looks like he's enjoying ripping people new assholes – especially the rookies and new recruits. Chang definitely found his calling in life teaching others.

Quatre is of course in over his head with his family's company. Well, not in over his head per say, but definitely up to his neck in work. The little guy really needs to take a vacation. Heh, maybe I should see about getting him and the princess to take a vacation together, though I have a feeling that all they'd do is talk about politics. At least when Trowa visits, he gets a break from the daily grind.

Speaking of the guy with gravity-defying bangs, he's still doing well traveling with the circus. I like to take in a show every now and then. He's a man with an unanswered death wish, getting in front of that crazy girl that calls herself his sister and letting her throw knives at him. That and climbing into cages with all those large animals that could easily rip a man to shreds, but hey, he enjoys it. At least he's bringing smiles back to the people…it's more than I was capable of.

Hilde's doing the same, though in a far less deadly manner. Her artwork is absolutely beautiful and I know that she recently opened up a studio and is teaching the area kids how to do art. I really am glad that she was spared during the war even though there were a few times that I was certain that she was going to get herself killed.

I had stayed with her for a while, but when I realized that she wanted more out of me than I was willing to give, I made my base of operations mobile. I like to think it worked out well. Made keeping tabs on Heero a lot easier.

Really…though, if it wasn't for Smoke, I wouldn't be able to find him now. He's gone into hiding even more and while he does resurface on my radar when I pass along information for him to take care of, other than that, I track the wolf.

Smoke was a good thing for him. He has him trained quite well and they work very nicely as a team. It was hard to give up the little guy, but I simply couldn't take care of both of them anymore and he really needed more care than Shadow. Figured Heero would be best for that task.

The lights grow dimmer as I travel along the ocean's edge and the waves become more defined in the moonlight. Their quiet song calls out to me and I pull over, stepping out into the crisp winter air. So innocent looking, yet so very deadly…I think this is what drew me back down to Earth. Well, that and a job that needed to get done, but normally I would have left by now. You know, Heero and the ocean waves have a lot in common – the whole hiding their dangerous side behind a mask of innocence.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I of all people know how deadly he can be crossed the wrong way, or ordered to be in the good old days. Okay, maybe they weren't so good, but at least then I had a real reason to live for – not this false life I created for myself.

For awhile I just simply stare out at the ocean before finding that the night is far too cold for me to be doing that, but I leave the SUV that I borrowed behind and make sure that I clean down the vehicle as to not leave any prints or any other sign that I was the one involved with it. Not that they could track me down anyway. It belonged to some rich politician who had so many that he couldn't possibly notice this one missing for at least a few weeks.

Feeling that I had done a superb job, I head off, making my ten-kilometer trek back to the unoccupied house I'm using for my current base of operations. Pulling the black trench coat more tightly around me, I half debate running the rest of the way, but I know that would only alert someone.

Hearing something stepping lightly through the woods behind me, I turn to have seemingly iridescent eyes in the moonlight staring back at me. The black wolf stepped up to me slowly, "Did you already eat supper, girl?" Closing the distance, I reach down and pet her, a content feeling radiating from her deep, black fur, "I'm going to take that as a yes. I figured you wouldn't mind hunting."

Clouds cover up the night sky and snow begins to fall – it's going to be a good storm. Hopefully the brunt of it holds off until I get back to the house.

Shadow comes up to me with a stick, wanting to play. I suppose it couldn't hurt to play as we make the trek back. Throwing it ahead of me, she takes off.

I guess adopting Shadow, and subsequently Smoke at that time, was also good for me. Even though I gave Smoke to Heero, both of them, and now Shadow by herself have kept me grounded in a way. We've traveled all over together and it's nice to have someone that's got your back. While I tend to take the forefront in my self-appointed missions, she tags along and helps me out where she can. Shadow's bitten a lot of people in the eighteen months that she's worked with me.

We play a walking version of fetch until we reach the edge of another town. Knowing that trouble might brew if someone sees her and not on a leash, she disappears into the shadows and follows me from there. Training her and Smoke was certainly interesting, though I do regret not being able to finish Smoke's training. People like to say that you can't train a wolf, and they're right, you can only ask them to do things, but it's easier to call it training. Shadow definitely had a lot of spunk and it took me awhile to get her respect. Smoke was just loveable as a pup. I wonder if Heero trained him to attack me on sight for giving him up.

The wind picks up and the snow begins to come down harder, causing me to hike up the collar on my black trench coat higher than it already was in order to hide my braid and set my pace just a little faster. Of course, the fastest way through town is through the not-so-nice neighborhoods, I mentally note.

Nearing the end of that section, someone decides to step out and halt me in my path. Gee, this seems familiar…

Oh, wait, that happened to Heero last year and at least his was talkative – this one just drew his knife. Yeah, I was following the blue-eyed man.

Hearing a yelp behind me, I charge the guy, turning the knife towards him, making him let go out of a sheer act of self-preservation.

Claiming the knife as my own, I chuck it at the guy behind me who was too busy trying to get Shadow to release her jaw from his rear. Pinning the collar of his coat to the pole behind him, she releases him and I kick the one I dropped as we continue on our way.

No dramatics…how dull.

Noticing that she's still at my side, she must feel secure enough not to be harassed in public view. Either that or her protective side has kicked in.

Once we are a safe distance from the would-be muggers, I hike my collar back up and shove my hands back into my coat pockets. Damn is it ever cold and that interruption cost me enough time that I might still be making the trek back to my current safe house during the height of the storm. I should have killed them just for that fact alone. Ah well, hindsight is 20/20.

Picking up the pace, but not so much as to alarm the few drunken stragglers around me, Shadow and I walk side-by-side, though I notice something is odd with her. I won't ask though because I know she won't tell me until she's ready. Well, okay, tell me in whatever way she can – if she suddenly started talking, I think I'd freak out.

But…I guess I can't help but treat her with respect – it's what makes us work so well together. I wonder if Heero has the same type of relationship with Smoke. Maybe when I get back I'll see where he's hiding so I can go check up on them.

As we nonchalantly hustle, the streets grow more and more abandoned as we reach the outer edges as well as the houses become fewer and farther between. What can I say? I like isolated places…that and this one gives Shadow a chance to hunt all she wants. It's tough when we're up in the colonies.

It's been about two years since I surfaced on anyone's radar, like my four legged friend's name here, I've stayed in the shadows and out of sight – doing what I need to without even alerting the underground.

Making the last turn onto the dirt path that'll lead me to the house, even Shadow is bracing herself against the storm as we walk, thankfully the wind is to our backs to help us, but the driving snow makes it hard to see.

I start shaking the snow from my bangs and my braid before I reach the cover of the porch. Well, Heero always said I was stupid. Speaking of stupid…I dig around in my pocket for a minute trying to find my keys while attempting not to freeze my sorry ass off.

I must look pretty silly bouncing up and down while trying to unlock the door. Ah well, goes with the personality I guess. Come on…open…yes! Bounding in the door, I nearly slam it shut behind Shadow – glad to be out of the icy weather. You think after having lived on the streets for so long I'd have built up strength against the cold…yeah, whatever – take one look at my scrawny frame and tell me that. To counter the chill that has seeped through to my bones, I immediately put some water on the stove and pull out a mug and two packets of hot chocolate mix. Hey, man, one just ain't enough.

Grabbing a bowl, I fill it with water for her and put it down on the floor where she immediately starts drinking, also grateful to be out of that weather as I snag a nearby towel to dry her off.

I really want to start a fire in the fireplace, but first of all, I don't know if it needs to be cleaned, and second, I don't need to have smoke rising from this place – it's bad enough that I turn the lights on.

Settling down on the couch with my mug and my laptop, I wait for it to boot up so I can start virtually checking in on everyone. When Shadow finished her drink, she came and curled up at my feet. It's times like this that I cannot fathom exactly how vicious she can be even though I know firsthand. Taking a moment, I reach down and stroke her black fur, "You did good today, girl."

She nuzzles my hand before putting her head back down. No sooner does she do that and I bring up the program to track Smoke, but her head is up again and she's growling at the door.

Slowly closing the lid to my laptop, I slide off the couch and stealthily make my way to the front door, gun in hand. Shadow is near me, doing the same now that she's stopped growling. The hunt is on, though my prey happens to be at my front door. It's probably just someone that broke down in the middle of nowhere and is looking for help of some sort, but it never hurts to be overly cautious…especially considering that they haven't been so kind as to knock.

I can't hear anything outside other than the howling wind, but I have a feeling that Shadow can smell something that I can't. Knowing that I'll be at a disadvantage since the storm is blowing right at the front door, I whip it open anyway and take aim.

Blue eyes stare back at me in surprise as if he wasn't expecting me to open the door. The gray wolf at his side goes into a protective mode and Shadow steps in front of me to challenge him.

Lowering my gun, though not my guard, I ask the obvious question, "Heero, what are you doing here?"

He motions, asking if he can come in and I let him, not being able to turn him away – especially not in this weather. He remains silent as I also let his companion in and quickly Shadow and Smoke become reacquainted with each other.

Holstering my gun I help Yuy get his coat off. "Seriously, man, how the hell did you find me?"

The Japanese man shrugs, brushing the snow out of his now longer hair, "Pure luck I suppose. How did you know that I was outside?"

That doesn't sound like him, but I play along anyway as I thumb at Shadow to answer his question, "Have a seat, can I get you something?"

"No, I'm fine. Look, Duo…" I can hear the nervousness in his voice as I head back to my previous position.

Sitting back down, I quickly open my laptop and turn off the tracking program now. It's hard to believe that the owner of those cold blue eyes that haunt my dreams just appeared on my doorstep. "Geez man, take a load off. You're making me nervous standing around like that. I know even you have to be tired standing out there in that weather."

Doing as I asked him, I take a sip from my mug as I turn my full attention to my guest. I patiently wait as he closes his eyes – probably to gather his thoughts. "Honestly, I've been trying to find you for almost two years, but you've always been at least one step ahead of me."

Have I? It's not like I've been eluding him in particular, "Hey, don't take offense – I've just been trying to stay off the radar."

"As have I," is the quick response I get, but the former master of the Zero system pauses as if to calculate his next move, "I know it has been you that has been feeding me information for missions." I smile as Smoke goes up to him and rests his chin on his owner's leg, hoping to be petted. Seems like the gray wolf hasn't lost much of his personality.

"Looks like I've been caught. Does it upset you 'cause you seem to take them on anyway," perhaps I was just a bit too cocky sounding than I intended to be.

Shaking his head, he replies, "No, it was a way to know that you were still alive." Awe…I'm touched. I hold my tongue as it seems he still has more to say, "I was just wondering if you'd rather just partner up than the arrangement that we previously had. While Smoke has been an excellent companion, I think it would be to our advantage to pool our resources."

And to be honest, I could use a human companion since I know that I've started losing touch with my humanity these last couple of years. "Sure, why not. We'll see how it goes."

"Sorry I didn't get you a Christmas present – I didn't think I was going to find you. Smoke has been an invaluable companion." I can see the relationship between them is something similar to that of Shadow and me but the other one is still as loveable as he was as a pup.

"Don't worry about it, man. I'm just glad you didn't shoot him on sight." Upon realizing that we were talking about him, the gray wolf left where he was getting petted and bounded up into my lap, "Hey! Smoke! You're too big for this now!"

After calming the hyper one down and getting him back down onto the floor, Heero spoke up again, "Merry Christmas, Duo."

"Yeah, Heero, Merry Christmas to you too, buddy." For the rest of the evening, we talked about what had gone on over the last two years of our lives, though I already had a rough idea of his.

* * *

Fin  
November 2006  
by JeiC  
---  
Author's notes: This is going to be a five part series…maybe more if people really like it and want me to write more, and only if I can think of how to write them. This is after Endless Waltz and I am going to use the events from Blind Target for the filler between the series and EW as a reference.  
Originally this was supposed to be a songfic, but I thought it best to leave the lyrics out. The song that inspired this was "My December" by Linkin Park.  
And just because you didn't want to know this, I have been trying to put this set of fics together for years…yes, years. I've been trying to clean up all the fics that have been sitting on my harddrive, begging to be finished. Gundam Wing got first dibs since these are older. I think I initially started on the idea back in 2000 or 2001, gave up in 2003 after playing with it off and on for a long time, and just revisited it to take another crack at it.  
Also, to all of you that have so kindly reviewed, I'll try to thank you guys personally since I'm writing these chapters well ahead of the deadlines that I've set for myself and prepping them (sometimes months) ahead of time so it'll be easy posting when the time comes 'cause we all know that I'll spaz out and forget until the very last minute and if adding a chapter is just a few clicks away instead of having to fully edit it (well, for ff .net anyway), you should get them on time.  
For those of you who have decided to kindly leave an unsigned review, I suppose all I can do at the moment is thank you now and in the future for taking the time to read my fic and posting your thoughts on whichever chapter you happened to review.

* * *


	3. 3rd December

Disclaimer: pouts I dun own Gundam Wing. I dun own "My December" by Linkin Park. I dun own much so dun sue me – I'm poor.  
Author's notes: Notes at the end.  
Warnings: some angst, some sap, yaoi, OOC

**My December  
****Third December**

by JeiC

* * *

"Trowa! Where are you going?" A female voice calls from the main tent. 

Turning, I debate not saying anything and just walking away since it should be obvious what I'm doing, but I answer the girl who considers herself my older sister, though I don't fault her for it, "I'm going to take care of the animals, Cathy."

"Okay, but hurry back – you're missing the party!" Quickly she disappears back inside and the only sounds are coming from either the tent or the animal cages.

What others celebrate as Christmas, I just mark off as another year that I haven't had to go into battle. Then again, after the war with Mariemaea, we did destroy our Gundams, but that doesn't mean that we couldn't have the same type of incident as when the remnants of the White Fang tried coming after us individually.

Duo always did have a penchant for showing up just when help was needed. Often I wondered if he watched us from the shadows and only came into the light when it was obvious that he had to, but I never got around to asking him before he was gone again. I found out through Quatre that he had been visiting him just prior to the assassination attempt and had been the one to get him underground. From the time he was there to the time that he helped me out, I'm not sure how he made it and managed to locate me so precisely.

I would ask him the next time I see him, but for some reason, I'm not sure I would want to know the answer, though oddly enough I think he might have been working in conjunction with Heero at that time, but I can't be certain. The two of them are like night and day, but as strong as they are individually and as opposite as their ways of thinking are, their talents come out better when working together.

I suppose the same could be said for myself and Quatre, but we've never truly had the chance to test that theory out, however, we seem to be well coordinated to play complicated pieces of music with very different instruments. That is a memory from the first war that I have kept with me. I think it was the first time in my life that I could remember being able to relax in another's company.

Though I find working with Wufei somewhat difficult, but I believe that is true for others as well. His eyes are like that of a wild animal. When he is cornered or wounded, he will lash out at anyone and anything, but I have also witnessed his calm, intellectual side that he wishes not to show the world.

Reaching the cages quickly, I set about cleaning them first. I have a respect for the animals here, particularly the large cats, and in turn, they cooperate with me. They have less respect for their trainers however, but it isn't my place to tell them that. I set about my duties in the cold colony winter, which I suppose it is a good thing that we keep the animal cages temperature regulated.

Petting one of the lions as I work, my mind once again shifts to speculating what the others are doing. This past year in particular, there have been a rash of exposed underground heavy arms dealers who were helping supply various rebel factions. For some reason, I have a feeling that Heero or Duo is behind it – perhaps both. Neither have been seen or heard from since shortly after the incident with Mariemaea so it's difficult to judge if they're even alive, but the pattern and strategies used suggest either one of them.

The media has had a field day with it. I spoke to Wufei at one point just to catch up since I am on the reserve list for the Preventers in which he informed me of his suspicions about their involvement, but their names were never on any suspect lists. Apparently Lady Une has managed to keep both the media and corporate dogs off their backs…if it was them.

Wufei has done well with the Preventers. Though he had a chance to oversee the Special Ops department, he turned it down for a teaching position in the academy. From what I understand, he instructs a wide spectrum of topics from job related to more commonplace classes like mathematics and literature. He seems much more settled and content than he did during the time he was swayed to join the Barton Foundation.

Relena seems to have been doing well. She gets stronger as every year passes, though from what I understand from Quatre, it takes a huge toll on her. He has been trying to convince her to take a break before she does. The thwarted assassination attempts probably haven't helped to get her to settle down either. She knows she has at least one guardian angel looking out for her so she keeps going for as long as she can. I think his angle of attack now is to for her to take time off so she can finish her degree. With that logic, he might just convince her.

However, convincing Quatre to take some time off is another story. As with me, he is also a reserve Preventer, but the demands of his family's company force him to push himself past his limits on a regular basis. Often times he calls me when he can't take it anymore. He knows I'll listen and I won't question him about his choices. At times like that, all he's looking for is someone that'll listen without bias, but I would be lying if I wasn't biased – I just keep it to myself.

Picking up the bucket I had brought with me, I lock the cage and head towards our waste disposal unit. Quickly taking care of what needed to be done, I head back to add some fresh bedding for them. It's only fair that they have as comfortable of a place to sleep as I do.

Sometimes I also wonder why I'm still with the circus three years later. Perhaps because it's the only sense of home that I've known for a long time and it's a steady job, but if I were to take Heero's advice and follow my emotions, my heart does not rest here. I came to that conclusion only recently, however, I have not yet figured out yet where it does.

Perhaps there is no rest for it, but this sense of discontentment has been growing over the years and it is now hard to ignore.

Having finished with that task, I head back to the feeding trailer so that the animals can have their dinner. Mine is most certainly getting cold, but I'd rather spend quiet time out here with the beasts than alone at the party.

While it has been nice to bring smiles to people's faces, it still feels empty some how, but I suppose that's the life of a clown – to bring happiness to everyone else, but lose your own contentment in the process. At least it sounds like a reasonable hypothesis when I look at the others who have significant others also within the circus and together they bring joy to each other that they might otherwise not have known.

Perhaps I am just speaking of nonsense since I am not them so therefore do not understand their thoughts and perspectives on life.

But I would be fooling myself if the faces in the audience weren't simply blank outside of the big smiles. Occasionally I've caught a glimpse of what should be a familiar face, but it's gone as soon as I notice it, with the exception of Quatre. If we're in the area that he works, he makes sure to stop in for at least one show and then afterwards we'll talk for a bit. Even with all the people in his company and all the family members and friends that he has supporting him, he too seems to have the same issue with finding a lack of fulfillment in his life during this time of peace.

He mentioned that Relena felt the same, though I suppose he would be in the best position to know since he's often in the same political arena that she is. Quatre once joked about how he would tease her that she needed to settle down and find herself a good boyfriend. I'm glad that they can find camaraderie amongst the heavy political issues that weigh both of them down.

Wufei commented about how he is surprised that Winner and I manage to stay in civilian positions seeing as we both are men of action. I think that was his attempt to talk me into becoming an active agent with the Preventers, and I admit that it was, and still is, a highly tempting offer.

Taking my time in distributing the food and making sure that their water supplies are full, I turn and stop at the sight of two wolves staring at me hungrily. At first I wonder if I left a cage open, but then take a mental inventory of the animals that we keep and we don't have any wolves. Putting my bucket that previously held the meat for the lions, I step back, keeping myself calm. The gray one stepped forward and put his snout into the bucket, but turned back to look at the black one that was still focused on me.

While the gray one seemed disappointed at the lack of food, the black one was on a mission, and that mission had something to do with me. For once, I dared not put my hand near it. Something about the animal told me that it was all business, though even in the low light, I noticed that it was well cared for and groomed so I wondered if perhaps its master was around somewhere.

I hear laughter from above, but don't take my eyes off the two in front of me. A familiar male alto floats down to me from above the lion's cage, "Don't worry, Shadow won't attack you, will you girl?"

Upon hearing her master's voice, she sat down and stared at me intently, allowing me the luxury of being able to look up to find blue-violet eyes full of humor staring back at me.

"Look at that, Heero, I don't think I've ever seen Trowa afraid of an animal before," he jumped down just as the blue-eyed man came around the corner and signaled the gray one to come to him.

Taking a moment to look those two over, I notice that while both of them have become more defined, I can tell for certain that they are the ones that have been looking after the fragile peace behind the Preventers backs. I noticed immediately that Yuy's hair had gotten longer, but not enough to hide the signature spiked mess that it had been during the war, and if it was humanly possible, I think that Duo's braid had gotten even longer. Maxwell had gotten several centimeters taller, but it seems as though genetics hadn't been quite as kind to his Japanese partner though he did also gain some height.

The black wolf distracted the braided man momentarily as she moved to stand next to him. "You're here because of a mission?" I inquire.

Having knelt down to pet the animal, Duo turned and looked up at his human traveling companion before turning back to me, "Nope, whatever needs to be handled, Heero and I have been able to cover. Just thought we'd come by and visit. You know, wish you a Merry Christmas and all. Maybe catch up and see what you've been up to these past three years."

Nodding, I signal them to follow me into the feeding trailer. The least I can do is feed their four-legged companions since they're here. Getting a piece of meat for each wolf, I take a seat against the wall before handing over the goodies.

Maxwell laughs, "Some people never change," he gets out in between, taking a seat opposite of me. For awhile we simply talk, though mostly it's Duo doing the talking since neither Heero or I have ever been good conversationalists.

Maybe an hour passes before Catherine pokes her head into the trailer, "That's where you are, Trowa…" She pauses, taking in the other two, "Oh no, you two are not taking him back into battle."

Duo gets up and bows, "It's a pleasure to see you again, Miss Bloom. We just thought we'd stop by and wish Tro a Merry Christmas. Well, I guess we better be going."

Heero nods at his partner and stands, "It was good to see you again, Trowa. Pass our regards along to the others."

My adopted older sister stands at the side of the doorway with her arms folded, glaring each of them down. Maxwell and Shadow depart first with him wishing her a Merry Christmas on his way past, but Yuy stops at the doorway as the gray wolf comes up to me and licks my hands. "Smoke," he calls calmly and immediately the animal follows.

Before she can say anything, I comment softly, "It was good to see them again." Getting up, I head back to my trailer.

"Hey! Where are you going?" She calls after me and slowly I'm starting to come to an understanding of my emotions better.

"I have a phone call that I need to make." Maybe two, but I'm sure the blonde Arabian could use some Christmas wishes.

* * *

Fin  
November 2006  
by JeiC  
---  
Author's notes: This is going to be a five part series…maybe more if people really like it and want me to write more, and only if I can think of how to write them. This is after Endless Waltz and I am going to use the events from Blind Target for the filler between the series and EW as a reference.  
Originally this was supposed to be a songfic, but I thought it best to leave the lyrics out. The song that inspired this was "My December" by Linkin Park.  
And just because you didn't want to know this, I have been trying to put this set of fics together for years…yes, years. I've been trying to clean up all the fics that have been sitting on my harddrive, begging to be finished. Gundam Wing got first dibs since these are older. I think I initially started on the idea back in 2000 or 2001, gave up in 2003 after playing with it off and on for a long time, and just revisited it to take another crack at it.  
Anyway, by this point, you probably notice my lame little pattern in terms of who's POV it's going to be for each chapter.  
Also, to all of you that have so kindly reviewed, I'll try to thank you guys personally since I'm writing these chapters well ahead of the deadlines that I've set for myself and prepping them (sometimes months) ahead of time so it'll be easy posting when the time comes 'cause we all know that I'll spaz out and forget until the very last minute and if adding a chapter is just a few clicks away instead of having to fully edit it (well, for ff .net anyway), you should get them on time.  
For those of you who have decided to kindly leave an unsigned review, I suppose all I can do at the moment is thank you now and in the future for taking the time to read my fic and posting your thoughts on whichever chapter you happened to review.

* * *


	4. 4th December

Disclaimer: pouts I dun own Gundam Wing. I dun own "My December" by Linkin Park. I dun own much so dun sue me – I'm poor.  
Author's notes: Notes at the end.  
Warnings: some angst, some sap, yaoi, OOC

**My December  
****Fourth December**

by JeiC

* * *

Getting out of my car in the empty parking lot, I head towards the uninhabited building. I'm not really sure why I'm here on Christmas night other than there's a lot of work that still needs to be done before New Years. 

Pulling the keys out of my pocket, I shiver in the cold weather that the colony decided would be festive and would conserve energy – locking the door behind me after letting myself in. It's so dark without the lights on.

Without others around, this place feels so empty and the emotions I feel I know are solely my own. I dare say that it's lonely here, but I need to get things done and I couldn't ask anyone else to give up their holiday for this – it just wouldn't be right.

My sisters have all gathered together to celebrate, but even though they're family, I feel so disconnected from them…even the ones that I work with on a regular basis. I'm closer with the other former Gundam pilots than I am with my own blood relatives.

Walking the empty halls, this place seems far bigger than it normally does without the bustling activity that runs the Winner Corporation. Maybe my lack of height is getting to me.

Shaking my head as I stop at the elevators, I wonder what the others are up to now.

Last year was a pleasant surprise when Trowa called me out of the blue just to wish me a Merry Christmas, and while I hope he calls again this year, I'm somewhat disconcerted that he knew to call my office phone first. Guess I'm becoming predictable.

What surprised me was when Barton told me that he had gotten a visit from Heero and Duo. My first reaction was that of surprise since none of us have heard from them in three years at that point. My next reaction was wondering what brought them out of hiding – what new mission were we needed for. It surprised me when he said that they had just stopped by to visit and asked him to pass along their regards. From my other conversations over the past year with him, it seems that they once again disappeared into the night from which they came.

Though now that I know that they were responsible for the rash of exposures the previous year, I have paid closer attention to the news to try and follow them, but it's difficult to tell if it's just one or both of them out there trying to maintain our still fragile peace.

When I last visited Trowa at the circus, he didn't have much else to say about them, but it was good to catch up on what he had been doing. I have been able to sense his discontent for a few years now, but it had gotten much stronger. He mentioned something about a new job offer that he might take up, but wouldn't say what.

I also spoke with Wufei at some point. He too was surprised that Duo and Heero resurfaced for such trivial reasons, but said that it was good to know that they were still alive. I'm sure that he knows more than that…I could sense it when we met that one time that he had stopped by during a mission that brought him out to L4. I didn't pry him for information though.

We decided not to tell anyone else – we thought it would be best if we kept it just among the three of us for the moment. It wouldn't do to get any of them, especially Relena, excited and possibly hinder Heero and Duo's work. All of us knew that she would redouble her efforts to find those two if she knew that they were still alive and had contacted one of us.

Reaching the top floor, I step out of the elevator and sigh. I really don't want to be here, but at the same time, it's better than the alternative of being at the family Christmas party. At least here I can accomplish something. Maybe next year I should see about throwing a small party together just for us five former Gundam pilots. That would be provided that we can find two of them.

I wonder what the others would think of me now…

I know for a fact that Trowa thinks that I'm overworked, but he'll never say it to me. He'll never act as if he's biased towards something even though I can feel it. It's somewhat frustrating because I almost want him to be biased and tell me his honest opinion about the path I've taken in this time of peace.

Though I suppose in a way that it's my fault for never having told him how much I value his insights and his friendship. There's more, but I'm going to leave it at that.

Wufei on the other hand has no issue whatsoever telling me that I need a vacation. He even suggested that I take a year and join the Preventers as an active agent before my skills got rusty. While I also value his opinion and insight, I couldn't leave my family's company hanging high and dry, though the idea is tempting.

I know Heero would tell me to follow my emotions – that seems to be his favorite line. I think for once though, he's followed his own advice, or at least that's what it sounded like.

Duo…I'm not sure. He's always been a supporter, but never one to give advice, or at least without being provoked to do so first, and then, you're never quite sure what he'll come up with.

Reaching my office, I take my time getting out the key and opening the door. Working on Christmas, when it's suppose to be such a wonderful holiday, is quite depressing. This time four years ago, we all had to jump back into action. That I didn't mind, but I think it was more because I was making a difference and defending the peace instead of pushing papers.

Closing the door quietly, I also lock it for some reason and only turn on the desk lamp in my very large office. Being the head of the corporation allows me the luxury of having an office big enough to be a good-sized conference room, but it's empty…as I have been feeling more and more as the years progress.

Taking my coat off and hanging it on the back of the chair, completely unprofessional like, I sit down and get started on reading through some of the asset reports. Seems as if Strata is going to work herself into the ground unless I step in. Renee is a wonderfully talented girl, but I see a lot of the same determination and drive that I see in Relena, but she takes it a few steps further, endangering her health.

At least this one I can do something about – I can't exactly try to tell Relena what to do since she doesn't work for me. I mentally note to talk to her after the first of the year. Usually a reminder from her contract holder to take it easy once in awhile gets her to slow down her otherwise break-neck pace.

Flipping to the next one, I rest my head on my hand and read through it, wondering why I'm doing this. This isn't me. Yes, I'm quite acclimated to both the business and political worlds, but…this isn't how I make a difference in the ESUN. I never did care for sitting at a desk and doing paperwork.

"You look bored."

Jumping, I look around for the soft voice to find a familiar figure standing in front of my desk, just at the edge of my light's reach. "Trowa! What are you doing here? How'd you get in?"

Coming forward to take a seat, he stated, "They thought it would be a good idea if we came to wish you a Merry Christmas in person."

"They?"

Laughter from the shadows of my office reaches my ears, "It's Christmas and yet someone always gets stuck working. Don't you have employees that can do this instead? Oh, and I'm afraid getting in would be my fault," Duo stepped from his hiding spot – a four-legged black figure at his side. Turning back, he called, "Come on now, don't be shy. We stopped to pick up Trowa and then traveled all the way here to visit. The least you can do is say hello."

Heero came up beside his partner with a gray companion at his side. "Hello."

Exaggerating his movements, the braided man sighed and hung his head before turning to look at the Japanese man next to him, "You're hopeless, you know that?"

I hid my amusement behind my hand as they took seats in front of my desk. Looking down at the sudden weight on my thigh, I notice Yuy's friend decided to put its head on my lap. Petting the soft fur, I comment, "Animals can sense kindness in a person, can't they?"

"Yeah…" was Heero's only response.

Duo laughed, "That and Smoke is just a loveable guy anyway, aren't you boy?" Upon hearing his name he looked up and smiled broadly at the American. "Though he won't hesitate to rip someone to shreds if the need arises. Shadow on the other hand…"

Feeling another presence at my side, the black one seems to be trying to sized me up, sniffing my leg and then my hand when I put it out. Then it sat down and looked at me.

The low alto voice laughed again before Maxwell translated Shadow's actions, "She likes you."

"How did you know that you'd find me here?" Please tell me I'm not becoming that predictable.

"Because you've worked in your office on Christmas for the past three years," Trowa enlightened.

I sigh, sitting back in my chair, "Anyway, I'm sorry…you came all the way out here and all I can do is ask pointless questions. So what have all of you been up to?"

Trowa I pretty much already knew, but he actually did pull out a few interesting things that I hadn't heard from him before. Duo and Heero, well, it was all new to me and the braided man wove such spellbinding tales. We had to have talked well into the night before the blue-eyed Japanese man reminded his partner of the time.

"Oh, I guess we better get going. Sorry to cut it short, Q," Duo scratched the back of his head apologetically.

I couldn't help but smile at the old habit that he still had, "It's okay. I'm just really glad that all of you came. I was thinking that maybe next year we should all get together for a proper Christmas celebration. That is if all of you would agree – I'm certain I could get Wufei to come."

The smile on Duo's face told me that he liked the idea, but had something mischievous in mind. "Actually, don't tell Wufei – I've got an idea. We'll be in touch. Merry Christmas, Quatre." With an exchange of holiday wishes, they faded into the shadows of my office and I didn't even hear the door open and close to signal their leaving.

Sitting back in my chair, I just completely ignored the work that I had some here to do. Perhaps now would be a good time to make some New Year's resolutions.

* * *

Fin  
November 2006  
by JeiC  
---  
Author's notes: This is going to be a five part series…maybe more if people really like it and want me to write more, and only if I can think of how to write them. This is after Endless Waltz and I am going to use the events from Blind Target for the filler between the series and EW as a reference.  
Originally this was supposed to be a songfic, but I thought it best to leave the lyrics out. The song that inspired this was "My December" by Linkin Park.  
And just because you didn't want to know this, I have been trying to put this set of fics together for years…yes, years. I've been trying to clean up all the fics that have been sitting on my harddrive, begging to be finished. Gundam Wing got first dibs since these are older. I think I initially started on the idea back in 2000 or 2001, gave up in 2003 after playing with it off and on for a long time, and just revisited it to take another crack at it.  
Anyway, by this point, you probably notice my lame little pattern in terms of who's POV it's going to be for each chapter.  
Also, to all of you that have so kindly reviewed, I'll try to thank you guys personally since I'm writing these chapters well ahead of the deadlines that I've set for myself and prepping them (sometimes months) ahead of time so it'll be easy posting when the time comes 'cause we all know that I'll spaz out and forget until the very last minute and if adding a chapter is just a few clicks away instead of having to fully edit it (well, for ff .net anyway), you should get them on time.  
For those of you who have decided to kindly leave an unsigned review, I suppose all I can do at the moment is thank you now and in the future for taking the time to read my fic and posting your thoughts on whichever chapter you happened to review.

* * *


	5. 5th December

Disclaimer: pouts I dun own Gundam Wing. I dun own "My December" by Linkin Park. I dun own much so dun sue me – I'm poor.  
Author's notes: Notes at the end.  
Warnings: some angst, some sap, yaoi, OOC

**My December  
****Fifth December**

by JeiC

* * *

Looking at my communications device, there's a simple text-based email waiting for me from Winner asking me to rendezvous with him at a specified time and place. No reason, just the request and no mention of Barton either which means either the emerald-eyed man is with him, or he's not involved. What he's doing asking for this at this time of night, I'm not certain. 

Though it is rare to see one without the other since they decided to take my suggestion of switching to active duty for a year instead of relying on the bi-monthly seminars and trainings to keep their skills sharp. I was impressed with that woman's common sense to partner the two of them together to work, though over the past five years, I have gain great respect for Une.

However, I know she wishes to also add Yuy and Maxwell to the roster, but locating them is like trying to find a shadow in the blackest of nights. They've resurfaced twice in the past two years, but it doesn't appear as if they'll be making a call this year – things have been quiet for a couple of months now and I know that braided lunatic wouldn't be able to sit still long without blowing something up.

I hate to admit it, but the fact remains that they may not have survived that last encounter they had with yet another White Fang splinter group that somehow managed to survive that long. At least the signs that were at the scene point to it having been them, but officially we can't record them as suspects.

Not that I would want to…that would hinder the heavier grunt work that they have been doing that actually assists the Preventers in not only locating, but bringing these threats to peace to justice. It would be a great loss if they had died there. In a way, I am hoping that they managed to survive somehow, but simply need time to recover.

Checking the time, I grab my standard issue jacket and head out. I don't know what is going through that blonde's head, but he knows that I don't have time to be playing guessing games even if it is Christmas. It's not a holiday that I choose to celebrate, but it does give me time to get more work done without all the commotion of a normal workday.

Though, I suppose I should be grateful for the distraction since the papers I was grading were less than minutely stimulating. Occasionally I get one or two that are quite engaging, but it seems that the writing skills of people in this day and age is lacking. At least things seem to be improving somewhat as rumors spread that it is very difficult to pass my classes with good grades and therefore only those looking to challenge themselves are willing to sign up voluntarily. The rest happen to end up with me as the other classes fill up first or mine is the only one available to fit their schedules.

I have received feedback from the other two that any of my classes are rather tough, even from an observer's standpoint, but they think it's for the best so that the graduates of the academy are better prepared for the work ahead. It is nice to have support from those I dare call friends.

Speaking of, becoming active agents for the Preventers seems to have done well for Barton and Winner. The few times that I had corresponded with them, each had seemed to be growing more and more discontent with the paths that their lives had lead so far. It somewhat surprised me that they held onto their empty civilian lifestyles for as long as they had, but something happened about a year ago and they have been tight-lipped about it. Perhaps it had something to do with Yuy and Maxwell's last visit.

I had been curious enough to also question Darlian when I had the opportunity, but she didn't know anything and I didn't enlighten her to my suspicions about the visitation of the other two.

Approaching my vehicle in the mostly abandoned parking lot, I start the engine and sit there for a bit – letting it warm up in this frigid winter weather. This season is something that I am not fond of, but I am also use to living in warmer climates. The summers are comfortable enough, so in a way, I suppose it's a fair trade.

Feeling the heat start to seep into the cabin, I set off for my destination. I have plenty of time, so I'm in no rush. Winner didn't specify that he needed me urgently.

Double-checking my GPS, I follow the directions to a rather isolated area. I'm starting to wonder what is going on in that blonde head of his.

I am not speaking ill of the man, however. The head of the Winner Corporation is a brilliant strategist and tactician, but sometimes I am simply not able to follow his logic. Perhaps it is something that he learned in both the business and political worlds that he had immersed himself in prior to becoming a full-time Preventer.

His partner is also quite well suited in what he does, which to be honest, I'm not entirely certain. I know Barton has done quite a bit of undercover work, but I believe more often than not, he uses his skills learned and honed at the circus to infiltrate areas that most other agents wouldn't be able to.

Pulling up to the estate that is well hidden in the foliage, I begin speculating that perhaps there is an issue and should have arrived prior to the designated time. Though I do notice smoke rising from a chimney, which questions my previous assessment regarding the threat level.

Stepping up onto the front porch, the door is ajar and in moments the familiar weight of my gun is in my hands. Personally, I prefer a long blade of some type, but policy frowns upon the usage of such weapons in the field.

Opening the door slowly as to not alert anyone, I slide in and keep my back to the wall and wait for my eyes to adjust to the dark hallway, quietly closing the door. Only the moon casts an ambient glow into the area through various windows.

Catching what I'm not certain is one or two shadows of some four-legged creature run through the hallway, I take aim, but they no longer exist. I certainly hope that Winner wouldn't do himself the dishonor of losing a battle to a stray animal or two.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you – they wouldn't be very happy."

I holster my gun at the soft voice, "I didn't realize that you brought pets, Barton."

"I didn't," with that, he turns and walks down the hall and I simply follow him. This whole situation is rather bizarre in a way and far more suitable for Halloween than Christmas, but I suppose I am not one to judge.

Though I do wonder if perhaps I fell asleep in my office grading papers.

We walk for a while in silence – the simple, quiet sounds of our footsteps being the only audio has me on edge. Eventually we come to a room with a cozy fire in the fireplace and large, soft furniture placed to sit around it.

The only person in the room turned and beamed at the two of us, "Oh good. We were hoping that you'd come."

"Winner, you sent me a text-based email telling me to come," I respond dryly. Something isn't right here…this is too well planned. Did I walk into some sort of trap?

He seems to ponder that for a moment, "Well, yes, but you could've easily ignored it. Since you're here, grab a seat. I know you like the winters here about as much as I do."

Playing along, I do as I have been requested of and move to ask a question, but something across from me between the chairs catches my attention. Was the black wolf the one that I saw in the hallway? It seems to not mind the other two I notice as Barton takes a seat next to his partner. Observing the rest of the room, I notice a sole crutch lying on the floor next to the sofa, though I'm not sure if I should question it.

"So why did you request my presence?" Seems like a reasonable question to begin with.

The blonde steepled his fingers under his chin as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, "We thought it would be nice to get together and talk like friends this Christmas. We really don't get to hang out much and just act our ages, do we?"

I find myself conceding before I can stop myself, but to be honest, he is right. We talk lightly for a few minutes before another figure appears in the doorway carrying a tray, "Yuy."

He nods at me and places the tray with four mugs full of hot chocolate and various little snack treats down and I notice that he seems a bit worn. Perhaps his efforts have put more of a strain on him than he would like to admit. With only four mugs, I wonder if he was the only one that managed to survive that last battle…it doesn't seem right to not have that braided lunatic bouncing around.

It seems as if I'm not the only one that has observed the same thing. "Heero, you need to rest," Winner chides.

"I just need to make one more run back to the kitchen…" Turning to leave, he stops just outside the doorway and crosses his arms at whatever in the hallway. "I told you to wait." He bends down and pets a gray wolf that approached him.

"No way, man. Wufei's here – haven't seen him in what? Five years?"

I'd recognize that melodic alto voice anywhere as Maxwell hobbles into view using one crutch. Yuy takes the mug in his hand away from him.

The blonde laughs at the antics between the two, "Oh Duo…sometimes you're too much. You're wearing Heero out and you're the one on crutches."

Ignoring the commentary from the blonde, blue-violet eyes lock onto me, "Hey, Wufei! Been a long time. How's it going?" Giving up trying to get the mug back from his partner, he collapses on the couch and put the crutch he was using with its mate. He laughs, "Man, you look like you just saw a ghost."

Looking from the four mugs on the tray to Maxwell and then to Yuy, I get a response from his partner as he hands the injured one his drink back, "It's double strength. Thought it would be safer to keep it from the others."

The braided man's laughter snaps my attention back to him, "Shadow…Smoke…go lie down somewhere 'cause you can't have it." The two wolves listen to his commands with the gray one going to lie next to the fire, but the black one stays by his side as if to protect its master.

Snagging a mug, Winner comments, "And the treats are thanks to Duo. I swear if he keeps feeding us, we're all going to get fat."

"Hey! It's not like I've got anything better to do right now, and don't act as if you don't like it," Maxwell shot back.

Ignoring those two going at it, Barton catches my attention, "He is a surprisingly good cook."

Picking up a sugar cookie, I try it, feeling it melt in my mouth, "I have to agree."

Maxwell pounces on my comment, "See?! Told you! Even Wufei likes it."

"I never said I didn't, Duo. I just feel like I'm getting spoiled by all this good food," the blonde blushes as if he's been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

We talk and laugh for how long, I'm not even certain. Come to find out that Maxwell did get injured during their last mission a lot more severely than he appears before me now, but it seems to have not dampened his spirits. Yuy usually backs him up by hacking into systems and getting all the intel on the situation, but they didn't know about the hidden fuel supply and when they blew it, it sent the braided man for quite a flight even though he should have been well out of the blast zone.

Winner and Barton talked about their experiences with the Preventers and are in negotiations to extend their tours of active duty. We also talked awhile about the new recruits and the various trainings and classes at the academy.

Eventually our conversation turns away from work and to far lighter things. We talk about the wolves for awhile, then about various hobbies, and I lost track after that, but what I recall most is the feeling of acceptance and trust from my four companions. This is certainly a Christmas that I will remember.

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Fin  
November 2006  
by JeiC  
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Author's notes: This is going to be a five part series…maybe more if people really like it and want me to write more, and only if I can think of how to write them. This is after Endless Waltz and I am going to use the events from Blind Target for the filler between the series and EW as a reference.  
Originally this was supposed to be a songfic, but I thought it best to leave the lyrics out. The song that inspired this was "My December" by Linkin Park.  
And just because you didn't want to know this, I have been trying to put this set of fics together for years…yes, years. I've been trying to clean up all the fics that have been sitting on my harddrive, begging to be finished. Gundam Wing got first dibs since these are older. I think I initially started on the idea back in 2000 or 2001, gave up in 2003 after playing with it off and on for a long time, and just revisited it to take another crack at it.  
Anyway, by this point, you probably notice my lame little pattern in terms of who's POV it's going to be for each chapter.  
Also, to all of you that have so kindly reviewed, I'll try to thank you guys personally since I'm writing these chapters well ahead of the deadlines that I've set for myself and prepping them (sometimes months) ahead of time so it'll be easy posting when the time comes 'cause we all know that I'll spaz out and forget until the very last minute and if adding a chapter is just a few clicks away instead of having to fully edit it (well, for ff .net anyway), you should get them on time.  
For those of you who have decided to kindly leave an unsigned review, I suppose all I can do at the moment is thank you now and in the future for taking the time to read my fic and posting your thoughts on whichever chapter you happened to review.

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